Tell Me What You Think

This?

Or This?

I have narrowed it down to two choices on how I can keep from saying sarcastic things. I can put a zipper on my mouth or I can stick safety pins through my lips. However, I am a little worried that there is some room for movement with the pins. I think I could still utter a few things. But on the other hand, I would have to restrain myself to keep from unzipping the zipper. So, maybe neither way would really work. Do you have a better idea?